Stupid Reporters Maketh Stupid News-Media

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Just the other day I had posted that no one seems to understand what Women Empowerment is all about. And soon, the country’s ‘leading’ newspaper goes right ahead and does a big boo boo.

They put up this uncalled for tweet about actress Deepika Padukone. You can find the details here: TOI Fucked Up… Big Time!

Why is this any different from the numerous previous times that the newspaper has fucked up… from typos to inappropriate headlines to outrageous articles in the name of journalism? Well, this time somebody reacted. Ms Padukone rightly took offence and hauled them up for being inappropriate and quite immature on her Twitter timeline. And because she has thousands of followers the issue went viral.

The deterioration in the quality of reporting by TOI and the lack of morals of the newspaper and its affiliated media is something we all discuss on a regular basis. But our discussions and protests fall on deaf ears, an obvious result of us not being famous. And that is why I would like to thank Ms Padukone for reacting the way she did and not letting the issue slide.

Now, as a friend hoped while we discussed this incident… I too hope that the government issues a show-cause notice to TOI from the PM Office. There would be many women who would applaud such a move by the Modi Government. This is, after all, a perfect way the government can show that they are, in fact, serious about protecting the Indian woman.

Times of India needs to revamp itself and do something about this degradation of quality. Media is important to society as they shape the society’s views and such irresponsible behaviour on the part of TOI can do nothing to improve the already uncouth way the country treats its women.

I sincerely hope all this hoopla hasn’t been for nothing.

Get some sensible journos, TOI! Also, please invest in a good spell-check software!

Morning Nightmares

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Picking up the newspaper in the morning (or opening the news website on the computer) has become an experience akin to the opening scenes of a nightmare. It’s a nightmare that plays out every morning and that holds you in its horrifying thrall for the rest of the day.

Is it that human life has become cheap these days? Has the world decided to completely disregard human dignity? Everywhere around the world, the civilization seems to be sliding down into a state of anarchy that would soon be completely beyond our control. The traits that set us humans apart from the other animals… such as compassion, love and the ability to apply rational thought have been taken over by the more primal and base instincts of anger, violence and lust. It is like mankind is unraveling at the seams… it probably would just take one strong pull to disintegrate the fabric of humanity.

Yes, there were wars and battles in the ages gone by… fights over land and power, conquests and witch hunts and lots of violence in the name of defending or expanding realms and empires. But those were the rowdy teenage years of mankind when the hormones were ablaze and there were wild oats to be sown. Didn't we all settle down to a mellow age when we were mature enough to understand that life has a beauty and dignity to it that needs peace to nurture it?

Ideas like religion were meant to be instruments of peace, guidance to the peoples of the world… their right to choose and follow a set of principles they felt comfortable with. Today religion is not too different from organized crime. The atrocities committed in the name of what is supposed to be a spiritual bridge to attaining nirvana (eternal peace of mind…and not specifically a Hindu idea) are so horrendous that I can’t understand how any ‘god’ can approve of it?

Then there is the great financial divide… the rich vs the poor. We invest so much of our time and efforts in complaining that the rich have it easy, I find it simply a mark of inefficiency that we do not all instead strive to be successful and probably help ourselves cross that gap.

Closer home, in India, the media in their calls to awaken the people of India talk about a ‘real India‘ which according to them consist of only the downtrodden, the sick and poor, the underprivileged and the destitute. How true is this picture? What about the cities in India, the urban centers, the working middle class which statistically forms a major chunk of the population and the rich and über rich of the country… are they unreal? Do they not belong to the country? Benefiting one strata of the society at the expense of the other would just deepen the chasm between them. I know there are people who have brilliant ideas that can help uplift the society as a whole without alienating the people. Some of them don’t believe in the system and are hesitant to put forward their ideas because the system has always failed them before.

Today, in the newspaper I read about a woman who hung herself from a lamp-post in Kolkata during peak hours… and no one dissuaded her, helped her get back on her feet, figuratively or literally. The headlines screamed ‘Heartless Kolkata’ but not for a second did I believe that the scenario would have been any different in any other city. Human life has lost its charm as long as it isn't your own.

Women in India, both the citizens and the visitors, live in complete and constant fear for their dignity, for their very lives. Even though I hate to generalize, I am being forced to and I have to point out that men are increasingly losing hold of their senses… they are de-evolving into something worse than animals, because animals do have their own social codes and norms and strictly adhere to them. A large part of the public, including politicians and self-appointed guardians of ‘culture’ are busy blaming the media, the victims of abuse and everyone else other than the perpetrators of these crimes. These people are equally if not more responsible for the mistreatment meted out to women here. They are the ones who give these men the encouragement, that final push that instigates them to become monsters.

Every day, the newspaper puts forth a new horror story in the life of some woman in the country… and this story is the one that sees light among the thousands that get buried under threats made or carried out, under political or financial clout and under shame which the victims are often always made to feel. And this terror tale is very personal to every women in the country, for the mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, daughters...working women, students, housewives… even the unborn infant girl in her mother’s womb… any of us could be the victim… and all of us feel the pain, the heartache, the humiliation and attack on our dignity every time such an incident occurs. So why does our country let it happen to us every day… why does it let our picking up the newspaper or turning on the news channel become a painful disrobing of our dignity?

I am a woman. I fear for me and my kind. I have vowed to never return to India. I dread my nightmares would turn real there… and I am already scarred for life by the repeated attempts to molest my dignity by proxy. I am a scared woman... and I am not the only one.

Keep Safe: A Few Tips

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I had recently posted about a meeting with the Senior Inspector at the local police station and how he engaged us in a chat session where he gave us a few tips to keep us alert and hence safe in some common daily situations.

I am listing the tips here since all of you may not be lucky enough to have a considerate police officer in your area.

Most of the tips are rooted in common sense and logic, yet a lot of us choose to ignore them and on someday a criminal takes advantage of our ignorance and cynicism. The tips which we were given were to generally prevent or reduce break-ins and thefts and incidents of petty crimes such as pick-pocketing and chain-snatching.

Some tips for when you are out of the house:

• Be aware of your surroundings.
• While walking on the road, do not be so totally lost in thoughts or on the cell-phone that you do not notice danger to yourself and your possessions until it is too late.
• Indian women love to wear expensive jewellery and most of them love to flaunt it. Well, it does not make sense to buy jewellery and keep it locked up at home. Wear it for sure. And flaunt it too. But, use a bit of logic and show it off only in a surrounding where you are sure that it would not attract unsavoury attention. A wedding or a party or get-together or even for a visit to a dear friend’s place may be fine times to get all decked up and bask in the sparkle… but while you are getting to the destination try as much as possible to cover up stuff of value especially when you are using public transport or while walking on the road. Tempting fate might not be a bright idea when your life could be at stake.
• It is best to walk on the footpath wherever there is one. When out with a male companion, women should avoid walking on the side closer to the road. When you have your male companion in a position between you and the road, a chain snatcher on a bike or bicycle would find it quite a task to reach the chain on your neck.
• As far as possible, walk on the side of the road where the traffic is facing you. This could give you valuable seconds when you sense mischief from someone like a chain snatcher who would inevitably be on a bike or bicycle. It is safer to avoid walking on the edge closer to the road at all times.
• When you park your vehicle on the road or in a parking lot, do not leave valuables in the car. This is common sense which most of us know and yet ignore. Even if you have absolutely nothing of value in your purse / wallet / briefcase / backpack, etc., do not leave them in the car. You would know that there is nothing of any value in it but a thief would be tempted just the same to break into your car.
• When you are out on errands with high value such as picking up cash from the bank, do not try and club a multitude of other mundane chores with it which would require you to leave your vehicle unattended, especially if the said valuables cannot be carried on your person.
• Even when you just step out of the car for a smoke or to buy a bottle of mineral water from the roadside tapri (shack-shop) be sure to roll up the windows and lock the car.

Tips for when you are inside the house:

• Most of us reside in apartments which are crowded 2 to 4 on a floor… yet we are all confined to our own lives. There is no reason to leave the entrance door open even if your building has guards, especially when there is no one in the room to keep an eye on the door.
• A lot of us tend to be careless within the house in the smug knowledge and comfort of the fact that we are home and home is a safe haven.  It is not completely wrong to be a little relaxed at home but absolute and regular carelessness could result in trouble… for example, routinely leaving jewellery out in the open around the house could incite a maid to flick it after the nth temptation.
• Doors these days are not safe with a padlock alone. In fact, if the police are to be believed (and why should they not be) then a locked door is a signal to a thief / robber that you are away from home and they have a chance to break-in. So what should we do in such a case? Well, there are a couple of things that can be done.

1. Do not use a visible lock. Instead use one of those godown locks / heavy duty Mortise locks with the huge keys which require you to turn the tumbler some 8-16 times to open it. The lock part is on the part of the door inside the house and all that can be seen from outside is a key-hole. Also, safety latches are safer where they are not accessible from without the house.
2. Install a safety door. It adds that extra layer of protection and is a back-up for those times when you have been careless enough to leave your entrance door open. Again, avoid the ordinary visible padlock on it.

• The peep-hole and the latch-chain on the doors are there for a reason. Use them.
• Make sure that all the latches and locks are engaged before you retire for the night. Early in the morning, if you open the door for the milkman and the newspaper-waalah and then decide to catch a few more winks, then do lock the door again. Similarly, if you plan to sleep in the afternoon, then the locks of the entrance door are safer engaged.
• In almost every city and town, it is usual to have the milkman bring you milk in the morning and the newspaper-man gets you your daily. When we go on a vacation, these services are not needed for the period. The general step people take is to stick a note on the entrance door asking the milk and paper to be stopped for the period of your absence. So now a prospective thief or robber has the exact period of time of your absence and time enough to plan and pull off a major heist. In this age of cell phones, all you need to do is call up the milkman or the newspaper service and let them know that you would like to stop their services temporarily or until further notice.
• Before a vacation or trip, if you have large amount of cash and valuables in the house then either they should be deposited in a locker if you have one or packed safely and given over to the custody of a friend or relative whom you can trust. Some banks have a safe-deposit system where valuables can be safely kept for short periods, probably with a fee and provided you have an account with the said bank.
• In the house, make it a habit to lock the doors of the wardrobes and cupboards where you keep valuables and especially when you leave on a trip, lock them and take the keys with you instead of leaving them on top of the cupboard or under the pillow. Do not keep keys ‘hidden’ in places which are common knowledge to everyone since ages... Under the pillow is one such place.

These tips are some of the basic steps we can follow for our own immediate safety. The cop had a lot more tips but the time did not permit an elaborate discussion on all of it. He offered us the opportunity to call him for a lengthy discussion if an audience could be arranged. That is nice and responsible of him.

Another important thing he told us and which I have also mentioned in my previous post is that we as citizens should not shirk from assisting the law-keepers as far as possible. A simple thing like shouting loud to attract attention if we see someone committing a crime can scare the criminal away. Notifying the nearest police-station is an even better idea.

Hope these tips help all of us be that much safer. Crime may not be totally wiped out by just these steps, but the rate of crime would take a hit with both the citizens and cops alert and working in tandem.

A New Hue of Hope: Khaki

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My passport renewal has had me getting in and out a police station. Most normal people avoid the police station… it is an unfortunate place to be, whatever side you are on. But is it really that bad?

While I was waiting it out at the station for my passport verification, along with some 20 other people, I had a fine experience. This post is about that little meeting that happened that made me feel that Coldplay may have been completely right… Everything’s not lost!

When the 20 or so of us were twiddling our thumbs, looking anxiously at our watches, losing sensation on our bums or shifting our weight from one leg to the other while waiting for the cops to start the verification process… one of them came over and asked all of us to assemble in the Senior Inspector’s office. It was quite a large office with a typical, high level officer’s table at one end and the rest of the room empty… except it had been filled with plastic chairs and we were all asked to make ourselves comfortable. None of us had a clue about what was going on or what was about to happen.

There was a phone number in a large font stuck to one of the cork-boards behind the desk. The cop who ushered us in asked us to jot down the number. Soon, the Senior Inspector walked in… some of us stood up to wish him, most of us didn't... I didn't  ... but we all wished him a good evening and he returned the courtesy.

Then he asked us what we thought of cops, of the police in general. Now, that was a loaded question especially from a cop, in his domain. Of course, no one answered! He then went on to say that there is quite a distance between the common man and a cop… some of it is because of fear, some of it is caused by hatred and quite a lot of it is caused by our cynicism towards the cops. There are honest cops and then there are the ones that give the whole system a bad reputation… yet, we as common people never consider the majority of the cops who are honest people doing their jobs when we call the police system worthless. The Indian Police system is one of the best in the world and that cannot be without a reason… and especially not based on just the bad apples in the basket.

The inspector told us that he had a vision for his town… a safe and secure Nerul, and it was part of a larger effort of closing the distance between the common man and the cop. I am sure, like me the rest of us in the room were impressed and quite glad that a cop was taking the initiative for something good. But, that wasn't why he had called us in. It wasn't just to tout what he was doing for us… he wanted to tell us a few things we could do for ourselves and thus be a part of his vision for the town and in the process better our lives quite a bit.

In the half hour we were there with him in his office, he talked to us about some of the steps we as citizens could take to be alert and to ensure our safety and the safety of our immediate surroundings.

If we think about it, how many of us would take the effort to report a crime we have seen happen… nobody wants to be a witness unless forced to. We all would rather walk away from a scene of crime, totally blind to what is going on. How many of us have actually stopped a moment to think if there is something we could do to stop the crime from happening?  All we might need to do in most cases is raise some noise and attract the attention of people nearby when a crime is being committed by someone. That alone may encourage others to join in the noise making and perhaps cause the would-be criminal to flee/stop. In this age of mobile phones…we could even call up the nearest police station and inform them of what is happening. The police aren't omniscient and cannot be aware of every crime that is happening around them unless someone reports them. Isn't it better if we report it while it happens and while helping stop it in some way (I have seen an ad about a mobile in which two girls alert a constable about harassment in the same manner). So, it is not out of the ordinary to do so. We can do it but we choose not to… and then we stand aside to blame the police force completely for things we as alert citizens could have prevented.

After his talk… which was well thought out and not condescending in any way… at least the few people in that room would have returned home with a better perspective of the citizen-cop-criminal relationship. At least, some of us would understand that the growing distance between the keepers of law and the citizens is one of the major reasons for the emboldened criminal and hence the rise in crime.

Kudos to the inspector for taking time out from his schedule and educating at least the few of us who he could manage to get as an audience and trying to spread an awareness among them.  By his own admission, he does not get much of an audience… so he manages with the people who come in for police verification and rental NOC and such.

Yes, it is weird and somewhat unfortunate that nobody invites cops to any function to speak a few words… movie stars maybe, politicians even… but never a cop. The Inspector gave us his number and said that he would come to any building society which wants him to talk on security measures the occupants of a building can take to avoid break-ins and thefts and other such issues. His talk was not just about the disconnect between the system and people, but he had a lot of practical tips and ways in which we could all be alert and that much safer.

I think his tips require a post on their own… I’ll compile them and put them up later.

Mind-Rape!

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I usually refrain from posting about social issues on this blog as this is more of a personal space. But, this problem here has become a thorn in my side for so long that it has become personal enough to be noted down.

Every day as I browse the news networks of the internet... of all the violence, crimes and corruption that is rampant in this country, one category of news hits harder home… being a woman, the reports of crimes against women are each like a splash of scalding water on my face. Even worse than that are some of the comments that these articles elicit from the common people who read them. The news about these acts seems to bring out the absolute best in our politicians with their thoughtless remarks and senseless attitude.

Add to that certain factions of society the very existence of which seem to be to keep the women of this country suppressed and hidden within the four walls of a prison.

So we have actors-turned-politicians like Chiranjit who can’t even try and ‘act’ sensible and politicians like Mamata Banerjee (there is no point in expecting any kind of rational argument from her) and the Khaps who never fail to spout stupidity every time they open their mouths and that is something they do too often. 

These are just a few examples of people who make these nonsensical remarks.

According to these ‘brilliant’ people, the causes for rape are…

• Women wearing short skirts.
• Women interacting with men.
• Use of mobile phones by women.
• Fast-food consumption (no kidding… check the screen shot below.)
• Girls being married off at a decent age.
• Women going to restaurants and pubs.
• Women walking in the street (especially if you are in Delhi.)
• The western culture (because apparently every wannabe rapist does a course in it.)

If you notice, the most prominent cause in most of the reasons above are women. And these are only a few of the inane reasons given.

So according to these super ‘intelligent’ people…

We women seem to invite every man in our vicinity to strip us of our ‘westernised’ sarees / salwar-suits and sexually assault us while brandishing our cell-phones and eating fast-food… all this while we so horribly choose to marry at an age when marriage makes sense.

If you are an infant girl being sexually assaulted… well, you deserved it with your skimpy diapers and bibs!

Married women being attacked… why aren’t you at home hiding behind your husband and preferably wearing a veil covering you from head to toe?

If you are a victim of incest… well, I am waiting for the ‘learned’ people who made all the above brilliant remarks to come up with reasoning for this one.

What pains me so much is that not a single politician or lawmaker or person with influence has suggested that the menfolk and boys be educated and taught to respect women from their formative years. No one has suggested that these victims of sexual assault be sheltered strictly from being stripped of their dignity again and again by the people around them.

People do suggest and hope that laws against sexual assault be made stricter… and when these suggestions are made, the government just sits on them with no evident results.

Of course, when it comes to politicians treating the issue of crimes against women in the most blatantly idiotic manner, we Indians aren’t the only culprits… there are people like Todd Akin in the most ‘liberal’ country of the world… who make statements that reinforce your disbelief in MAN-kind!

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