I Have A Dream!

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Dreams...

I have the weirdest dreams. OH YES, I do!

I have always wanted to jot them down… would be a good something to read when someone’s on a trip (you know… the hallucinogen induced trips). So, here I am finally, fingers flying on the keyboard and the synapses working overtime to dig up old dreams from the archives in my brain.

I can roughly categorize my dreams in to 3 categories… violent, abstract and routine. I dream in full High Definition… in a kaleidoscope of vivid, brilliant colours. I can feel and touch in my dreams, hear and talk and even solve problems (yeah… even mathematical problems).

My violent dreams are the stuff of action movies… accidents of all possible kinds… airplanes blowing up in the air, train derailments, head-on vehicular collisions, petrol tankers / trailer trucks ramming in to houses. All this happens in HD complete with the beautiful pyrotechnics involved. Then there are the chases… car chases, chases on foot… chases through woods, through jungles, through the streets of a shanty town or the run through some ancient ruins… the hiding and evading and then the escapes. There are all sort of stunts in my dreams (but, these are stunts I might actually do if I am pushed to)… jumping from a first floor parapet, crossing over to another room over the ledge, diving in to a water body, even when I can’t swim, if it is the only way to hide from something worse than drowning… etc. Nothing too difficult, just the average adrenaline rush. As violent as my dreams are I have never had any dream in which anyone hits anyone else… no fist-fights, no maara-maari… but yeah, there have been enough shoot-outs and  armed fights.

Another favourite theme of my violent dreams are big cats… lions, tigers, leopard, panthers… and yeah, even big house cats that jump at you from the top of a cupboard. They sometimes stalk me or lay in wait along a much used path or just laze around where I stay. There is just once that I dreamt of a wolf… it died in my dream… a violent death. So, am guessing I can safely say that both felines and canines (yeah… wolves are canine and not vulpine) are represented well in my dreams.

The important part in all these dreams is that I do not die in any one of them… not because I am invincible… far from it actually (I am mostly the one being chased around)… it is just that I inevitably wake up before the killing blow / shot or before the last breath escapes!

The abstract dreams… oh! There is no easy way to describe them. I have tried to connect them to the circumstances that surround me when I am awake but that has been a futile attempt. Some of the abstract dreams are recurring with slight variations in the setting or the flow. Let me try and describe one such dream… this is a snippet of a dream that attaches itself to various other dreams I have had. This has me in a white dress… always white… the type of garment varies, sometimes it is a beautiful gown (am thinking, bridal), sometimes hospital scrubs, sometimes it is a weird sheer, flowing number… and I walk a desolate, wintry landscape… ice all around… flat as a mirror. The only other color is red… of the red blood that flows from some wound or cut on me and it leaves a trail wherever I walk. The wounds differ too… a bullet wound in the tummy, or slashes across the torso to blood seeping out the corner of my mouth (this was the latest). There is no pain… felt or imagined… and no emotion playing in my mind… only the solitary existence. Another recurring theme is something I want which can only be achieved or attained if I pass through a Crystal Maze sort of set up… highly disjointed images which flow in to each other… and I never really remember seeing the end of one. NO… I am not high on anything when I see these dreams.

My routine dreams are like an extension of my day-to-day life. Some seamlessly carry forward from where the day has ended; some lucidly paint a picture of what awaits me the next day… (I have been able to solve many a difficult question in some exams this way). Some of these dreams are like epiphanies… they sometimes give me a direction and make me understand what I have not been able to grasp when I was awake.

When I think about it… I feel my brain works so hard when I sleep that it ends up tired and dull and sleepy when I am awake!

There is a fourth category of dreams I dream… won’t be putting up a post on them… ‘Twill suffice to say they aren’t bad at all. :D

How I Put The Fire Out...

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Different people have different methods to control anger or to cheer up their selves… often these methods meet with varying levels of success.

I have a tough time coming up with methods to maintain good cheer…Because, I am either always angry or I am always chronically depressed. Since the past few years, these seem to be the only states of mind my brain can conjure up. (Note: These are barring the time I spend with Nawaab Saheb... that is always a roller-coaster of emotions... most of them of the positive kind.)

Now, coming back to anger management… my style… I write in a diary or a notebook… scribble (naah…scratch) my thoughts… some of them murderous, some fiery, most cannot be published anywhere… and after I am done scarring the notebook with my pencil (always a mechanical pencil… sharp and vicious), I tear the page(s) off the notebook and shred them in to tiny pieces, picturing the page to be the object of my ire.

Another thing I would like to do is slash around the room with a sharp object… but well, that is not happening! Aaah…someday…SOMEDAY!

Or… break glass… the shattering of glass is a soothing sound to nerves set afire by anger… but… yeah… that ain’t happening either!  :(

That’s how I deal with anger… now to deal with being upset or depressed.

I have realized that if I sit idle when I am depressed I could come up with so many suicidal thoughts that it would make a best-selling coffee-table book if I decide to publish them. To avoid becoming a millionaire via sadistic propaganda, I channelize my thoughts to a different sort of suicidal mission… financial hara-kiri! Yes, I go on a spending spree… an unnecessary spending spree where I buy expensive, unwanted stuff which I would never need. Now, a lot of people swear by retail therapy… but, in my case the irony is that I hate shopping… under normal circumstances (‘normal’ being a term loosely and relatively used in my context), I ABHOR shopping. The only stuff I can shop without wanting to murder someone in the process are electronic gadgets, shoes and bags. But… when I am upset… the shopping bag could contain anything from Swarovski crystal studded hair clips/barrettes (THESE when I ALWAYS leave my hair OPEN) to an iPod Touch (despite hating Apple Inc.). There is this weird and sadistic satisfaction when I see my account drain away a bit… and surprisingly, I do not regret the impulse buys ever. They remain around my room, at times unused, at times abused but all the time a memory of the purpose they served… to cheer me up.

And sometimes… all it takes is a hug… a big, warm bear hug that melts the anger and evaporates every depressive thought in my head.

...

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When you love someone, your life tends to revolve around that one person. Everything else becomes secondary… He is always first on your mind.

His words can cut you or heal you. The cuts run deep, and no amount of soothing would dull the pain. Sometimes, a tiff over a silly thing can cause unbearable hurt. One phone call is all it takes, at times, to destroy a beautiful world carefully dreamt up.

They may have been castles built in the sand… tiny waves licking at their foundations are enough to erode them. What hurts is when you have given your all to guard the castle from the waves… the castle still stands tall… a lovely dream, a hope of life… but, inside, there is no longer the love you had wanted to protect.

They say tears wash away the pain and hurt after a while. That’s all just philosophical bull-shit. Tears choke you, drench your pillow and keep flowing (makes you wonder where the endless supply comes from)… they flow on and give you a bad cold… but the hurt doesn’t go away. If I were to write this post on a piece of paper it would be drenched… I am thankful to digital technology… my keyboard, though, isn’t too happy about being soaked. I wish these tears would stop. I wish the pain would end.  Yesterday, someone told me to end it… but, jumping out of the window did not appeal to me… even though, despite his contrary claims, I value his opinion the most when I want to do something.

A web banner… wouldn’t really count for anything, no value at all to anyone… but, it was a work of love (In this digital world, even love is sometimes in bits n bytes). First accept it and put it up… then pull it down. A simple gesture spurned by anger… a dagger plunged deep in my heart and twisted for effect.

Torn and crushed and cut open… my heart still loves you (though it could never convince you) and misses you.

History Of English

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English is quite an intriguing language. Though, technically... my first language is not English... I still think in English. My thoughts take shape with English words and then my brain does a babel fish and translates it to the other languages I speak in.

I came across this interesting video on Youtube and thought it was worth a share. The video is pretty accurate in its contents and the presentation is humorous.

Signs Of Senescence!

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The signs of my senescence…

• Very poor short term memory

• Gradual loss of the ability to number crunch

• Messing up of basic math

• Spatial disorientation

• Grammatical errors in speech

• Incorrect use of language

• Gradual loss of the ability to articulate speech

• Gradual loss of the ability to grasp simple concepts

 

Either, I need a brain transplant… or I need some serious intellectual stimulation!

November Rain...

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© Image Courtesy:  VisualizeUs

Got wet in the rain yesterday! Drenched by November rain!

It wasn’t intentional… the office car was parked far from the building’s entrance.

There was a chill in the air and a freezing breeze… and big drops of cold rain splashing on my face… an exhilarating experience. It is my first soaking in Kuwait and being a Bombayiite / Mumbaikar, I just adore the way a city rain drenches. So, out I stepped, patent leather stilettos and all… trudged through the wet gravel of the parking lot and took longer than I would usually take to get to the car… just so that I could soak a li’l longer! :D

Got into the car, teeth chattering, hair strands beaded with crystal droplets… the dress wet n sticking to me… my skin burning with the fever that has been keeping me ill all week… and drove (actually, the driver drove) home with the smuggest smile on my lips.

I loved it… and can’t wait to get all drenched again.

And, I am ALL well today… no fever… no black-outs… just the persistent headache that has become my constant companion since weeks… or is it months… I dunno… can’t really remember a time when my head didn’t hurt.

Happily Single?

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All these years I haven’t ever thought about the kind of person I would want to share my life with… if it ever needs sharing. In my view – which is contrary to popular belief – it is not just fun being a single woman, it is also quite relaxing and philosophically enriching an experience.

Societies around the world may frown upon the idea of a woman being a spinster.  India is much more tolerant about a woman’s marital status. Now, before I am torn down by people who go ‘You have no idea what you are talking about… India and tolerant about single women?’… Let me explain.

In India, the general concept is that when a girl becomes a woman… when she comes off age (and sometimes even before that) she is required by her folks to settle down with a suitable guy. This happens all over the country regardless of the financial status, the education levels or the career mindedness of the girl/woman. Now, there are many cases where women opt to be single because they have certain priorities which are way up on their to-do list as opposed to getting married to the right guy (or wrong guy in disguise). In most cases, this seemingly ‘sacrificial’ act or what is considered as a compromise for the better, is applauded by the society. The women who so choose to be single are considered well-meaning and responsible. This is not a generalization… there are exceptions to every rule and so is there to this… mostly in today’s urban India… where, a single woman is considered a threat in more ways than one… by men because they are sometimes intimidated by such women and by married / attached women because they construe single women to be a threat to their secure little, private worlds.

This is quite different to the western idea of a single woman / spinster. There, being single would be frowned upon… for them it means you haven’t been able to snag a man of your own.

Now, coming back to me… have I really opted to be single because of any priorities I need to take care of? The answer is NO. Am I single because I haven’t been good enough to be snapped up in the marriage market (yes… that is what it is… a bloody market)? The answer is still NO.

Do I plan to remain single for the rest of my life? Now, THERE’s a question!

As much as I enjoy living a single life, with a responsibility only to myself, I do not rule out the possibility of settling down if the right man comes along.

That leads to the question… who is a RIGHT man? Frankly, though I used the term before (and often), I believe that there is no such thing as a ‘right’ man. Sometimes, you find a man who fits around your life and whose life you can merge in to without causing a huge disturbance in the force. Thoughts and ideas should match, more importantly there should be a healthy exchange of the same; diametrically opposite people do not gel well together (again… this is not what you have been told… the love formula has always claimed that opposites attract). Well, opposites do attract but they do not stay together.

So, once you have found that man, do you actually rush to legalize the relationship in the eyes of the society? Now, that is food for thought… maybe another day… another post. :)

It Is The Thought That Counts...

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The weather here in Kuwait is awesome right now. The sun isn’t too bright; there is a nice chill in the air… All the clouds have silver linings. The dust seems to have settled for a while… and though there is a touch of humidity, it doesn’t hit you hard.

When the sun’s busy playing hide and seek among the clouds here is a list of things I would want to do…

Would love a day on the beach… from dawn to dusk. I would love to wake up on the sand… the sun’s rays peeping through clouds and kissing me good morning. A day of lazing around under the grey sky… a cool breeze blowing… the sand, a little warm. The sound of the waves crashing against distant rocks… and the murmur of the waves as they caress the shore line. The whisper of that someone special by your side…more felt than heard over the raucous cackle of the sea-birds. Not another human soul on the beach except us… the world as peaceful as within a snow-globe. A little masti, a little play… splashing around in the sea as it warms up when the day climbs. Lying exhausted on the beach as the sun slowly dips towards the horizon… coloring the sky in a vibrant palette of reds, yellows, oranges, soft pinks and purples and then as it falls in to the ocean the sky darkens… and a few rare stars sparkle through the clouds and maybe a moon that brightens up the night… causing the sea to turn silver.

For the other thing I want to do… I need to have a library at home… 

Snuggle up with a good book in a cozy armchair with endless  floor-to-ceiling shelves of books all around… a hot mug of coffee / chocolate (with baby marshmallows floating in it) / a warm red wine… the last is the most preferred. The smell of books permeating the air… The sun-rays lighting up the room softly through the clouds… the patterns formed by the shadows ever changing as the day progresses. Well… that is a bit of heaven right there…

Another thing I would want to do on a day like this is get myself a nice car… find an isolated road… and let the machine take over. But, since I do not have a Kuwaiti license yet… that is a dream that would take a bit of time to come true. Meanwhile, I could always have the special someone take me out on a long drive in a sexy car… a drive with some interesting, intriguing conversation… long, mellow pauses when nothing needs to be said. A bit of ‘troubling the driver’ while he drives… ;) and yeah… lunch at a drive through… dinner at a fancy restaurant, then a night cap and sweet dreams.

Well… these are my simple needs… simple wants… clichéd as they may be… these are the moments that would remain forever in my heart & mind. And yes… it is the thought that matters… even as I sit in my office chair and drift off to that beach; I know I am smiling… I am happy… I am content.

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I need a break!

Constant headaches and occasional blackouts, general illness and all aside, I have this urge to travel. If not travel, I at least want to go to a place where there is some peace. I generally am not a fan of beaches, too much sun for my liking… but, in the past couple of weeks, that is where I have wanted to be… on a beach…  on a beach, late in the evening… sunset painting the sky with reds and purples or moonlight sparkling off the waves. Waves crashing on the shore line, seagulls calling... I want to feel the sand between my toes… want to walk right in to the ocean… as far as I can go.

Quilling Designs (By Yulia Brodskaya)

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Stunning Quilling Designs By Yulia Brodskaya

Found the above link at this blog I diligently follow: Home-Designing

It has been some time I have thought about taking up paper quilling... some outrageous ideas in my head and I've felt paper might be a good medium for it.

The designs by this lady are mind blowing. Here are some images not in their blogpost...

Brain Drain! :(

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Smart… is what I am used to. In others… In ME!

Then some things happen and now I am contemplative. Is this a phase? Will it pass? Have I been neglecting my intelligence too long… has it now decided to return the favour?

Horror of horrors… am I turning in to a ‘typical’ brunette / raven-head with no brains?

Mistakes that should never happen… first language and grammar… then stuff I love… Wonder what sense or perception would I lose next?

Note to Self:  Think more… Think, babe… Think! The grey cells have had too much rest… now it is all rust!

To Be Or Not To Be... Sick!

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Have you ever feared a serious illness… maybe something that is terminal? Have you had someone in your life who has gone through the fear and pain? It is never nice… not a happy place to be at.

Some diseases are ‘glamorous’… they are the celebrities of the health (or lack of it) world! Cardiac issues and some forms of cancer fall in the category.  When I say glamorous… I, of course, don’t mean it in a good way. They have been glamourized in the world of movies… from a Love Story to Anand to a hundred other stories, in a hundred languages.

Then there are these illnesses that are sneaky… they just lie low… and pounce on you when you are least expecting it. It may be that you have been a little too careless about your health, but most of the times these maukatarian illnesses are just that… pouncing on you at the first available chance.

There is this third set of illnesses… the mysterious kind. You can never be sure with them… they could develop symptoms as common as a headache or nausea or a blackout… symptoms that can be caused from the simplest of issues (like not eating on time). In my opinion, these are the most scary ones… like they say, a known enemy is better than an unknown friend.  Your friendly daily headache could turn in to a monstrous cerebral disorder. A simple chest congestion could be an angina or a myocardial infarction. For all you know, these symptoms which you tend to ignore, may just go away on their own. But, there are times when one blackout too many causes the alarm bells to ring. And when that happens, fear creeps in… fear of the unknown future.

Nobody likes to be ill… and if you ask me… I’d prefer to go the easy way without suffering rounds of visits to the hospital, large medical bills, pricks and pokes and all sorts of pills… and the worst part… the period of testing / diagnosis… where all the scary sounding tests in all those machines that look straight out of a sci-fi movie are used on you. You end up holding your breath till the results are out… never sure if it is a lifebuoy or a tug by a whirlpool.

This is not MY happy place… not where I want to be.

Aur Ho (My current 'lost in' track)

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With the combination of the lyrics and the music (a haunting tune) - though it does not sound very different from A. R. Rahman’s other tunes –it is quite a lovely song.

Loved Mohit Chauhan’s voice… His voice grows on you.

I haven’t seen the video… I imagine it would be sort of a background song in the movie…

But, I have my own song visualization in my head.

A desolate, cracked salt pan… craggy trees if any… fires of hell… black flowing shadows circling, creeping… disturbed flock of ravens… a disembodied voice singing…

Ok… I agree… I have a creepy imagination! :D

Aur Ho

(Rockstar)

Meri bebasi ka bayaan hai

bas chal raha na iss ghadi

Meri bebasi ka bayaan hai

bas chal raha na iss ghadi

Ras hasrat ka nichod doon

Kas baahon mein aa tod doon

Chaahoon kya jaanu naa

Chheen loon chhod doon

Iss lamhe kya kar jaaun

Iss lamhe kya kar jaaun..

Iss lamhe ko kar doon

jo mujhe chain mile aaraam mile

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Saans ka shor ho aanch bhi aur badhe

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Saans ka shor ho taap bhi aur chadhe

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Aur mile hum.. aur bhi jal jaaye

Tujhe pehli baar main milta hoon har dafaa

Meri bebasi ka bayaan hai

Tujhe chheen loon ya chhod doon

Maang loon yaa mod doon

Iss lamhe kya kar jaaun

Iss lamhe kya kar doon

Jo mujhe chain mile aaram mile

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Saans ka shor ho aanch bhi aur badhe

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Saans ka shor ho taap bhi aur chadhe

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Aur mile hum.. aur bhi jal jaaye

[chorus / alaap] 

Main hasrat mein ek uljhi dor hua

Suljha de...ho ho...

Main dastak hoon

Tu bandh kiwaado sa

Khul ja re... ho ho...

O bebasi mann mein basi

Jeete jeete jee le sapna

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Saans ka shor ho aanch bhi aur badhe

Aur ho.. Aur ho

Aur mile hum.. aur bhi jal jaaye

Ruke se naa ruke

Ye naa thake

Aandhi si jo chale inn saanso ki

Pata bhi naa chale kahaan pe kya jale

Hai darr se tann-mann ki siharan se

Hasrat ki sulgan se

Bhadke aur shola shola

Jale bujhe dhuaan dhuaan

O dhuaan dhuaan

Lage mujhe dhuaan dhuaan o

Meri bebasi ka bayaan hai

Meri bebasi ka bayaan hai

Meri bebasi ka bayaan hai

Where The Wild Roses Grow

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Where The Wild Roses Grow
Written by: Nick Cave
Sung by: Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue

They call me The Wild Rose

But my name is Elisa Day

Why they call me it I do not know

For my name is Elisa Day

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one

As she stared in my eyes and smiled

For her lips were the colour of the roses

That grew down the river, all bloody and wild

When he knocked on my door and entered the room

My trembling subsided in his sure embrace

He would be my first man, and with a careful hand

He wiped at the tears that ran down my face

On the second day I brought her a flower

She was more beautiful than any woman I'd seen

I said, "Do you know where the wild roses grow

So sweet and scarlet and free?"

On the second day he came with a single red rose

He Said: "Will you give me your loss and your sorrow?"

I nodded my head, as I lay on the bed

He said, "if I show you the roses will you follow?"

On the third day he took me to the river

He showed me the roses and we kissed

And the last thing I heard was a muttered word

As he stood smiling above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow

And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief

As I kissed her goodbye, I said, "All beauty must die"

And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

People In My Life - A Series

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The people in my life… is a short series which showcases – as the title says – my friends, acquaintances and sometimes that person who in a short walk through my life made a difference.

There won’t be any names here… just personas.

Here is someone I have been extremely close to for the last two years.  It’s quite a short period indeed… But, some people leave indelible marks in your heart and/or mind. He came in to my life at a juncture where I was complacent… about my life and my loneliness. I did not even realize that I was alone until he happened.

With some effort, walls on both sides were broken down and a friendship formed… a strong bond that at the time looked quite sure of enduring eternity. Here was a guy with a quirky sense of humor, a knack of keeping you engaged in some conversation on some weird topic you wouldn’t normally care two hoots about. We had (still have) a lot in common... a love for books, music, travel and a creative bend of mind. A shared school life added to the fun… memories and incidents which to me had a story that was completely different from the stories he had.

He was with me much longer than I was with him. :)

The bond tightened and suddenly life was different. It was many times more delightful than before and I was no longer complacent.  Slowly, things changed… over the course of time, a crack developed… it kept widening and we struggled to close the gap. Physical distance turned in to an abyss between our minds… one which could not be bridged. At the end of two years we drifted apart… I moved on… He didn’t!

Here was a man with an attitude that made him stand out among the best. He was someone who lived his life on his own terms… even in the face of adversity. He would bend the circumstances to suit him… and they were all stepping stones to his ambitions. With strong opinions on everything he and I clashed many a time. Needs, wants, logic & reasoning and emotions bubbled and simmered and drowned the relationship. With it has sunk the ship of his willpower.

Now, it has left behind a lost man. I wish he would find his way again… stronger and happier.

Here’s to a new life! Here’s to you!

Cheers!

Saheb, Biwi Aur Gangster

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Watched the movie yesterday (thanks, Nawaab Saheb). Really liked the movie… loved the characters. The dialogues stay with you and at times, I tend to use them in some situations. ;)

Here's my interpretation of the main characters…

*Spoiler Alert!* *Spoiler Alert!* *Spoiler Alert!* *Spoiler Alert!*

The Saheb:

Not really well off financially but demands respect and commands loyalty. He is ruthless in his deals. Values power and the hold his title has on the commoners.  He is weakened by the three women in his life… a stepmother, who was his father’s mistress, and now controls his estate; a wife who gave her love to someone else and is now a reminder of that insult; and his mistress to whom he turns to for peace of mind and the love he had wanted to give his wife.

Chotti Rani: (Loved this character the most)

Fiery, sensual, ambitious… a woman who knows what she wants in life. Though there is no backstory which explains why she cheated on her husband, I feel that there was something lacking in what the Saheb could give her… for she is not a woman easily satisfied or impressed. She is vulnerable at her core for she yearns for Saheb’s love and is fiercely jealous of his mistress. Her ambition to hold on to her title makes her resort to evil, unscrupulous means. She is conniving and coquettish… and plots to have it all… the title, respect and her Saheb’s love.

The Gangster:

He is a man with a lot of passion in him but not enough class to back it up. He seeks power and respect and would go to any length to achieve them. His love for Chotti Rani is genuine but his ultimate aim is not her love but the seat of power. He shares the trait of ruthlessness with the Saheb… but their aims are different, diametrically opposite even.

The Mistress, Mahua:

She is only a supporting character. The Saheb goes to her to forget the insult he suffered at the hands of Chotti Rani. She is the balm that soothes his ruffled soul. When Saheb believes she betrayed him… her life is snuffed out brutally by him with all the passion and ferocity with which he loved her. (That is a part of the movie I did not like… I felt that his love for her should have warranted her quick death… instead of the agony he put her through)

These characters are beautifully portrayed by the lead actors. Some surprising performances by actors who have not yet been given their due… Saheb (JimmyShergill), Chotti Rani (Mahie Gill), Gangster (Randeep Hooda) and Mahua (Shreya Narayan)

I would watch it a second time…

Some very interesting dialogues:

Jai Jai! (Love the greeting)

Chotti Rani to Saheb (on his telling her that she is not keeping well these days):
Humaari tabiyat to aap hain, Saheb! Aap apna khayaal rakhiye.

In a scene where Saheb is in Mahua’s bed…

Mahua: Saheb, subah ho gayi

Saheb: Subah ko bolo Saheb ne aane se mana kiya hain

Mahua: Kudrat humaari tarah aapki baandhi nahin hain

Saheb: Sunegi Mahua, ek din kudrat bhi humaari baat sunegi.

Yet Another Character Sketch…

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There is this girl I know, a crazy female.  Well… she isn’t exactly a ‘girl’… she is a woman… but the child in her still lingers. She is not immature but her attitude can drive anybody up the wall.

She is annoyingly stubborn, always has to have her way. She’d never listen to a word anybody tells her… even if she knows she is wrong she would not give in. She would fight tooth and nail for every argument she puts forward.

The crazy girl would be so naïve at times that you’d think she was born yesterday… but if you look closely you’d know that she knows exactly what she is doing. The naiveté is a mask… carefully worn, but coupled with her skills to seek out trouble in everything, she is not a safe person to have around.

My friends say she spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E! Oh, I would know, I have been at the receiving end quite a few times.

There is no grey in her palette… it is either black or white… or every shade of the rainbow. Not one to walk the middle ground… she is either fiery as fire or chilly as ice.

She does not think before she speaks… she does not consider the consequences of her actions. There are never any conclusions to her arguments… they are an ongoing conversation between her and her psyche.

Sometimes, I want to hold her by the shoulders and shake her up… tell her to grow up… but then I know she can’t change. That is the way she is… stubborn, headstrong, crazy, rebellious and not really immature but coquettish enough to use the child in her to her advantage.

She is vain, but I love her… and she is the best friend I have ever had.  :)