The people
in my life… is a short series which showcases – as the title says – my friends,
acquaintances and sometimes that person who in a short walk through my life
made a difference.
There won’t
be any names here… just personas.
Here is
someone I have been extremely close to for the last two years. It’s quite a short period indeed… But, some
people leave indelible marks in your heart and/or mind. He came in to my life
at a juncture where I was complacent… about my life and my
loneliness. I did not even realize that I was alone until he happened.
With some
effort, walls on both sides were broken down and a friendship formed… a strong
bond that at the time looked quite sure of enduring eternity. Here was a guy
with a quirky sense of humor, a knack of keeping you engaged in some
conversation on some weird topic you wouldn’t normally care two hoots about. We had (still have) a lot in common... a love for books, music, travel and a creative bend of mind. A
shared school life added to the fun… memories and incidents which to me had a
story that was completely different from the stories he had.
He was with me
much longer than I was with him. :)
The bond
tightened and suddenly life was different. It was many times more delightful
than before and I was no longer complacent. Slowly, things changed… over the course of time,
a crack developed… it kept widening and we struggled to close the gap. Physical
distance turned in to an abyss between our minds… one which could not be
bridged. At the end of two years we drifted apart… I moved on… He didn’t!
Here was a
man with an attitude that made him stand out among the best. He was someone who
lived his life on his own terms… even in the face of adversity. He would bend the
circumstances to suit him… and they were all stepping stones to his ambitions.
With strong opinions on everything he and I clashed many a time. Needs, wants,
logic & reasoning and emotions bubbled and simmered and drowned the
relationship. With it has sunk the ship of his willpower.
Now, it has
left behind a lost man. I wish he would find his way again… stronger and
happier.
Here’s to a
new life! Here’s to you!
Cheers!
It can't be easy for you OR for him.
ReplyDeleteHoping that with time, things would get better.
It is easy for me... I AM with THE person I want to be with.
ReplyDeleteThe assurance that you would be by my side always... THAT is my strength.
In ur blog, u mentioned about me losing my willpower. That i never can lose. It has taken a lot of character attributes to get me to where i m now. Willpower being one of them. That will forever be with me. I dont need pity based on the assumption of that loss. Although there are plenty of things that have changed. A major disappointment over this period has been the loss that i have sustained on my emotional investment. It took a lot of courage from me to invest so much of my emotions in a relationship. I cannot sustain such a loss again. So i will never put myself in that vulnerable position again. So this WILL never happen again. I WILL never trust another girl again. The only person to blame for this entire situation is ME. If i had not made myself so vulnerable, this would never have happened. Or i wudnt have been hurt as much. I cannot even fathom a repeat of this. Since i cannot be sure of how the other person reacts, its best that i never put myself in a position that hurts me again. No. Never. Never ever. Either voluntary or forced. As for the physical needs, there are avenues.
ReplyDeleteAs for the comment, a couple of months back your strength was the assurance that I would always be at your side... And now u worry as to where is the trust that u seek :-) there it goes...
Tere waade pe jiye hum...toh ye jaan jhooth jaana...
ReplyDeleteKe khushi se mar na jaate agar aitbaar hota!