A Short-Lived Spring

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A short-lived spring…

They are the kind that leaves behind a bereft you. No amount of rain can cool you nor can the summer sun warm you. 

A spring in which you weave fine gossamer dreams, a spring that thawed the ice in your heart, frozen by winters dark and cold. You wanted it to be spring forever… but seasons change. Time turns its rusty wheels and somewhere between its dirty cogs a dream got crushed.

My spring lasted a month. The tighter I tried to hold on to it against the odds, the faster it slipped away. An unpardonable mistake, hearts that hurt… a wound that cut deep... a short tragic legacy. The best four weeks of my life...and an abrupt end.

There are tears waiting to roll down & a lump in the throat. Even the tears hesitate... rolling down the cheek would be too easy.

I clicked a picture, today... the first in four weeks (yes... a bit ironic now)… and now I have just that… a beautiful memory to cherish.

Shaam se aankh mein nami si hai
aaj phir aap ki kami si hai  

Dafn kar do humein ki saans mile
nabz kuch der se thammi si hai  

Koi rishta nahin raha, phir bhi
ek tasveer laazmi si hai

Miss you. I am sorry!

Happy Diwali!

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A moonless night…

Stars brighter than ever…

The flicker of a trillion diyas…

Fireworks in the sky…

Warmth reflected off happy faces…

The silver of tinkling laughter…

The sweetness of good wishes…

Meethi yaadein… Diwali ke!

Wish you all a very happy, prosperous and safe Diwali!

Image courtesy Santa Banta (edited by me)
Text © Surya Murali

Dil ki baat...

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Humein iss ka gham nahin

Ke hum akele reh gaye.

Chhod kar tanhaa humein,

Woh khud bhi tanhaa reh gaye.

A Scoundrel Heart!

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Love the song...
And the lyrics... bas, humaari dil ki baat (words from my heart)!

 Kya kare zindagi isko hum jo mile,
 Iski jaan kha gaye, raat din ke gile
 Raat din gile…

 Meri aarzoo... kamini,
 Mere khwab bhi kaminey,
 Ek dil se dosti thi, yeh huzoor bhi kaminey,
 Kya kare zindagi isko hum jo mile,
 Iski jaan kha gaye, raat din ke gile…

 Kabhi zindagi se maanga, pinjre mein chaand la do,
 Kabhi laalten deke, kaha aasmaa pe taango

 Jeene ke sab kareene the hamesha se kaminey,
 Kaminey kaminey kaminey kaminey,
 Meri daastaan kamini, mere raasten kaminey,
 Ek dil se dosti thi, yeh huzoor bhi kaminey…
 

 Jiska bhi chehra cheela, andar se aur nikla,
 Masoom sa kabootar naacha to mor nikla,
 Kabhi hum kaminey nikle, kabhi doosre kaminey,
 Kaminey kaminey kaminey kaminey,
 Meri dosti kamini, mere yaar bhi kaminey,
 Ek dil se dosti thi, yeh huzoor bhi kaminey…

Immortal!

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Some words strike the right chords... some twist and turn in you...
Some feelings are like amputated limps... you don't have them... yet there is a ghostly pain.

Awesome video too ;)

My Immortal - Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave

Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

 These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

 When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

 You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

 These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me, me, me

Just one of those days...

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There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
(And) when she gets there she knows if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.

“With a word she can get what she came for”

Now that is the line I fell for…  And I believe I get by with it in most cases… except of course, with my parents!

Now why can’t life be just that simple… if the stores are closed and if I want something, I say it and I get it! How hard that can be? Simple needs, simple deeds are all that I want and expect in life and yet life gets as convoluted as your earphones the moment you need to plug them in to listen to your fav song on radio! It is crazy… and it isn’t how it should be.

There isn’t any deep meaning I want to glean out of this life of mine. There are 6.7 billion others on this planet who can pass through their lives gleaning the meaning of it all and a hundred times more philosophy that they can spew that may or may not be of any use to me. 

Selfish that I am… all I want is to live my life in peace and to get what I want. If you stand in my way you would get added to that hit-list in my li’l red book… and someday… it would be your eyes looking down the barrel of a shotgun (quite literally too if I can just manage that arms license)… but that would be too easy… it would be a veiled blow… a steel fist in a velvet glove slamming your nose in!

Cranky mood, ain’t it? I think I need a drink… or maybe just an ice-cream. And all will be well again… rainbows in spring and soft music in every heart!

Winter & spring collides… and the summer's out of my reach!

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I find I cannot write anything (or think much, for that matter) when I am depressed or even merely upset. Generally, I need to be in a happy place in my head to put words to thoughts. Here I am experiencing a very strange emotion… there is a first time for everything and this is new to me. I am absolutely happy about where I am in life right now and this happiness is perfectly balanced by a heart-wrenching sorrow for what I have left behind and by a painful fear for what the future holds.

I can’t really catch the pulse of this emotion…

Right now, my life is lovely… my life is miserable too… I feel on top of the world and I am stumbling blindly in a dark labyrinth. The smile never leaves my face these days and yet the corners of my eyes are wet with tears. I am terrified of the light and I love the darkness. As weird as it may sound, I am not confused. Sometimes, the truth feels so beautiful and sometimes, I feel I am living a lie.

What I want right now is to be in a special realm…where none of these thoughts would touch me… A realm in which I float free of all ties… new or severed. I don’t want Utopia… my thoughts are not all pleasant. They aren’t dark and forbidding… but they are brooding. They aren’t all pessimistic, there is still some cheer in them. I am in the maelstrom of seasons… winter & spring colliding… the summer out of my reach!